I didn't want to now what Fred & Ed were on the run from. It was enough to know that they resembled Fred & Barney even down to the rusted out holes in the floor of the truck. But I did want their drive because I was sore and tired. We stopped at every church on every back road from Florida to Louisiana. Fred would go in, come out smiling and we'd hit the nearest gas station. We stopped for a few hours at the swankiest truck stop I've ever been to in my life just outside of Louisiana. Fred & Ed vanished with some ladies of questionable purity to spend the free church money so J & I headed in for some relax.
Every truck stop I had been to had been essentially the same, coffee, fries, clubhouse sandwiches, showers & country music. This truckstop was a fine dining room replete with casino and sauna. If I hadn't immediately become obsessive compulsive about germs & disease I woulda spent the rest of my life in that sauna. We took a seat at the side bar and ordered up 4 roast beef dinners as Ed & Fred had opined. They were gonna be hungry after their manly duties. J & I ate like demons, this being our first actual meal in over a month. Fred & Ed were slow to return so the waitress put their plates under the hot lamp while J & I worked the room meeting truckers, all of whom were sketchy, odd and ominous. 3 hours later still no Fred & Ed, who were paying the bill so J & I were getting a bit freaked and making friends with the waitresses who may possibly be our saving grace if all of this went bad. J was terrible at flirting and charming but he was giving it his best shot.
Finally the cave men returned and before eating told us to go get in the truck, we'd be leaving real quick. J & I returned to our holding spot in the back of the pickup relieved to be almost leaving this stranger's land. Jumping into the back was a bit odd as it was full of crap that hadn't previously been there. Things like TRUCK ENGINES! Those friggers had pilfered every 18 wheeler in the lot. Just as we were figuring it out they slammed the doors and wheeled out of that parking lot leaving a wall of dust 20 feet high. J & I just looked at each other, "we are gonna die..."