Grossly as Charged

I lived briefly in this rooming house when I was 18 that was supposed to be for girls but the woman's son lived there as the "superintendent". really he was a lazy bum who couldn't be bothered doing anything other than flaking out in front of his TV eating takeout food, skimming off his dear old going blind and deaf Mom. he never actually superintended anything. She arrived every month with her cane to collect the rent, squinting at the money behind her coke bottle glasses and left with all of the cash in her purse completely vulnerable while "Vern" pigged away with hardly a hello to her. he was so gross. Two days after moving in I started looking for a new situation. he would make these late night visits to the 4 rooms in the house as part of his "official" duties. I would always pretend I wasn't there. he would say things like "I knocked last night and could hear your music was on but you didn't answer" I would tell him I left it on for my plants so they wouldn't die of loneliness. Anyway this one night I was totally flaked out from drinking beer on a patio with some pals and along comes "Vern's" chubby feet shuffling outside my door. he was all mumbling and I could tell he was loaded. After ignoring his knocks for a while it started driving me crazy that he was hanging in the hallway singing to himself waiting for one of the girls to come by. About an hour into it I had to pee so bad I should have just got up and punched "Vern" in the gut and made my way to the bathroom but I was so tipsy myself I would have just fallen over. So I grabbed a jar of pens, strew them out over the floor, pissed in the jar, opened the window and through the jar right out into the bushes.
Not long after I heard "Vern" snoring. I got my coat and left for a friend's place, snarling at the buttface sleeping in the hallway as I walked over his head and out the door.

The next morning I came home to the following note taped to the door of my room, "I heard you pee."