Friday, April 16, 2004

Canada should start offering those Heritage moment vignettes as prizes like Molson did with the I am canananadian commercials a few yrs. back. Have some kind of super canadian reality show & the winner gets their own vignette shown with a whole new series of modern Canadian success stories:
"Now they will know I have a beaver..." - Pam Anderson

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

I know this couple who always act like everything's hunky dory when it's obvious everything is shit. Little things slip out in seething tones. He feeds on her vulnerabilities, she pretends to be cool to maintain his interest. His real self comes flowing out when she's not around. She's trying to force herself into the position of being a grounding point & never the two shall meet. Hanging with them is like hanging with strangers, falseness fills the air like a thick smoke and the conversation sits up around the shoulders rather than lightly in the heart or deep in the belly. They make decisions about their friends due to the emptiness of their discourse with them and feel they gumption to "parent" everybody. What a bore. Last night she handed me dialogue like it was a magic wand & I handed it right back exposed for the faerie tale creation that it was. Now I feel bad for all the time I wasted smiling in her face in an attempt to be polite. I should've long ago put out that curled up nose "get real" and we'd probably actually have become better friends. You never know with people with their self delusion all hanging out like that if you should really put a dent in that armour. It may be the only thing holding them up.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

I found something on the other side of the fence I mentioned in march 20th's entry. I found that many things have become a long time ago. In that wonderful way that time represents itself as arbitrary. All the huffaw in Claudette's blog over the burlesque stuff was a great read. Discourse over how levels & sources of education relate to intelligence, thoughts about who among the ladies get to be feminists, whose points ought to be taken with deepest thought based on backgrounds & circumstances. Hmmm. I went back to the Burlesque photo homepage and read a letter I had written myself in response partially to an entirely different set of issues raised about the show before the last. So long ago it felt to me that it actually felt strange to have it brought to the forefront of this new discourse, which I believe to be a totally different matter than the last. Hmmm. In any case I've jumped some fences since then & could only read as a spectator, I wasn't at the last show so have no comments to make.
I did make a little comment about the rich white middle class thing but truthfully, it came from a different experience. I never like generalized racial / class statements and the power they have to erase an individual's experience. For the record I could care less that I grew up under the North American poverty line. Still made me better off than 3/4 of the world. We grew food, we read books. We self educated. My mother was/is a proficient intellectual/soul provider. When my siblings actually grew into the realization that there were class structures she told us: "your cash is in your brains, make your deposits there"
I oughta rename my blog "Word to my Mother".
I am constantly discovering the firm ground she laid out for me.
As for being as tired as I was on that fateful march evening causing the serious furrow in my brow & reminiscing over carefree times when the path ahead seem laid with humour... ah well... as a friend said today you have your past & you have what you are right now.
I'm accomplishing tremendous amounts & my true love's arms have grown succintley (sp?) wise to the parameters of my stretching soul which beats all. Which really beats all.