Miss you back.
I have one last thing to say about it and then I'm in spring.
Last letters. The last letters you ever read by someone could be considered the most poignant of all letters ever written and received. "any last words?" yes.
When those last letters come from one who has decided to leave you're almost too frightened to read them, yet you're absolutely terrified not to.
You think there'll be a key, an answer, the truth of life.
Sometimes what you find is that the writer is already gone, already soul departed. You get you're answer in a way, "long time gone"
You get another answer. The lucidity was in the life, in the living.
The death words are different.
What happens when you read the death words and you don't like them? When you read them and you think "these words aren't yours, as magnificent and prolific as you are as a writer, how do I accept these words as yours?" They strike you as primary and the words aren't complex enough to satisfy the urgency of your emotion.
So you make realizations.
Already gone.
Return to innocence.
Death words are not like life words.
So I'll leave this with the words, and maybe there is something to them that I haven't read. And maybe there is something to them that as years pass I'll discover.
People on death seem to understand that they are creating space for something new. They seem to have a glimpse that happiness is easier than it is thought to be in life. They seem to feel responsible to leave your happiness to you for yourself over your grief for them.
Written on the eve, the goodbye letter, left for all:
"I miss you
Please don't grieve for this passing of mine
I am gone to a better place in time
And although I left you behind
You still have a life to find
Please don't grieve or cry
In this life you have to carry on and try
Love your family and keep them close
For they need your support the most
I know your loss is at this moment great
But in time you will heal and regenerate
The loss will eventually be easier to bear
It just takes time in getting there
I ask for nothing in return
Just the odd memory as you wil learn
I know the pain at this moment is too much to bear
But with those around you, they really care
But you must heal your broken heart
Make an effort for a new start
As is said one door opens and another will close
As in a life span Nature and god has chose
I will always be there in your mind
And eventually life will be kind
Who knows we may meet in another life
Until then don't be sad or full of strife
So please don't grieve for this passing of mine
I am gone to a better place in time"
-Spins, November 2003.
So bye bye baby, and don't let me let you down.
