If you had built it I would have come...

I bet it would have been beautiful and I wonder had you been allowed to build without all the holding bars in front of you what kind of harmony would you have left me with. But you see I wanted out and wanted that part of it all behind and so worried that it would all be a burden to you held it back... ah but hindsight, so fucking cruel, hindsight. Hindsight that shows it would have been a measure lifted for the both of us, between the two of us and the familiar ease there had always been would have stayed. But me trying to protect you from the dischord in myself held it all back and you went away wondering why I wouldn't let you build it for me. And then you left me a bag of words with explanations of what building it for me would have meant for you and I have them forever, the regrets.
I have them forever the regrets.
I have them forever the regrets.
I can't imagine anyone I would more regret having regrets over.
So there's something you gave me, the resolve for no more regrets.
If there's any knowing where you are now, if there even is any now than you understand it all like I'm only beginning to. And if there's any kind of peace you get to deliver can you help me forgive what stood in the way so I can be rid of this bitterness once and for all.
it's just that I get so sick and my head spins so bad when I think of the time that would have been spent and how that painful stressful time could have been so joyous and kind instead but I didn't have the wherewithall to show you the weakness of the pain that had overcome me and you were hiding yours and two stubborn heads butt.
Ah, my head, spins.