there was a beauty to it, a tainted, dirty hollow beauty that comes to rescue you when only know you need in the smallest of notions. a beauty nonetheless, and you hang on to it, no matter how destructive and wrong bringing it to fruition would be. but it's not about fruition so you're off the hook there. it's not about reality or truth so you're off the hook there. and you know the yearning won't get you anywhere, but you wonder just... how would it feel?
would it be relief? would it be sweet? would it be comfort?
and you want to fool yourself into thinking so because that's what you fantasize it would be.
but it's not. it's tainted dirty and hollow. it's the question that keeps it sweet. it's the question that creates the honeydew on the lips of asking.
it's the unmouthed confession, it's the unextended hold, it's the longing that there is relief, that it might be real if you were to make it so...
how many beds of coal are you going to walk across until you realize your feet are blistered beyond repair and you'll never feel your true footing again? it's like being in love with your own past, it doesn't hold you back when you reach out to it, it only holds you back.
you make your small steps towards it but it's like a neon sign on your forward "Warning" "Danger" "Keep off the Grass"
the way is shut. you shall not pass.

Time, time, time is on my mind...

And here's an alternate viewpoint from Terrance McKenna. Seems there is less time than we thought...

2012 The Year We Make Contact

Today my search for the great minds of our time brought me to this page, which was a cute-ish encapsulation of broader subject matter I enjoy reading books about. It ends with this:

"This all starts with one simple change: Change your frequency, change your time, change your mind. Create a paradigm shift. This is the most subtle and powerful revolution going on the planet today and that’s because it’s time. It’s truly time. The next stage of evolution will create us into a telepathic organism, truly the planetary human in touch with itself everywhere around the planet. This will spring into manifestation what is known as the noosphere or the mental sphere of the planet, which obviously operates on telepathy. This is our evolutionary purpose. This is why we have been placed on this Earth.

When telepathy is the norm we will have a completely wireless civilization. We will then be able to correct our genetic deficiencies that cause us to have shoe stores and indoor plumbing. The other species don’t need that stuff, they are not defective like we are. We are on an interesting learning curve. We will correct our genetic deficiencies. We will become the dolphins of the atmosphere. We will high wire the noosphere and we will be in a whole other evolutionary state. And it begins with changing your timing frequency. Getting out of that old program and getting into the natural cycles."

I would like to be a telepathic entity floating around in some sort of amniotic ecology, all peaceful and serene, wearing no shoes, but the phone is ringing so I gotta go... it's probably a great mind of our times calling, she probably googled me to get my number...

I've been away for almost a week now. Went home for some of my Mum's sweet cooking. Met someone who inspired me and reconnected with a feeling long buried inside myself. I said "Self, meet capable, capable meet self."